"Getting ready: The title sounds intriguing - "Boot Camp for Goddesses" - and I'm unsure as to whether or not the title is tongue-in-cheek or too good to be true. Either way, I'm up for it. As a 57-year old woman whose kids have grown and who has been working at the same job for a while, I guess I'm at that stage in life where I'm wondering where I've
been, where I've gone and where I am meant to go next. And where is me - the essence of me - and who is me? Time for me, time to find me. This sounds like a good start, and even if it sounds a bit hokey, it will at least be fun. I finally convince a friend who is up for it, too. She's had a little more practice in figuring out where she is, but her search isn't over yet. Arriving - physically and emotionally: Tired and punch drunk, I feel like we've arrived at a Quaker Meeting with too many dirty jokes. The feeling of serenity permeates the site. After settling in a bit, we go to meet our guru for the duration of BCFG, Sierra Bender. One of the tougher aspects of being a woman is a tendency or a predilection to judge another woman at first sight - we take stock of her body, her
looks, and immediately deem her to be unapproachable, untouchable, unknowable because she is obviously too beautiful to be human. Our first impression of Sierra is: oh, no, we have to look at and listen to HER all week? However, she begins to tell her story - her life and how she arrived at what she is doing now. She becomes human and approachable; while she emanates power, I come to understand that she is also someone who can empower me. My attitude makes another adjustment as I understand that I am going to learn something this week.

The week is filled with physical, spiritual and emotional activities; each one designed to help us learn more about ourselves. Sierra explained that the individual activities and events would eventually fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. As a single piece, it might not make sense, but eventually we would be able to see the whole. Initially, it did not make sense. Individual pieces were challenging, or fun, or
puzzling, or physically or mentally exhausting. Sierra became more and more human while at the same time retaining goddesshood. She did not pretend to know enough about each event to take charge of it - she called in experts in their fields. She introduced real people who practiced what they taught - including one man who spoke about women's
health. While initially it seemed a bit jarring to introduce a man into the pieces, it was okay - man is not the enemy. "We're All in This Together", as one Kripalu bumper sticker says.

The explanation that individual sessions would not necessarily seem to be part of a whole was certainly the case for me. While each one of us took away different pieces from different activities, I had trouble figuring out how these pieces related to me and what I was learning. It all came together during the sweat lodge. I hate heat and humidity. I
live on an island off the coast of Maine. Heat and humidity wring the energy out of me and rob me of conscious thought. This was not an event I was looking forward to, did not understand what we were supposed to get out of it, did not know what it meant. But I was there for each experience and determined to find out. The tent was pitch black when the flap closed, and far too hot even before the water was poured on
the glowing rocks. The heat was too intense, the humidity initially seemed unbearable. After a period of time (I lost all concept of time, so cannot define the parameters) my body seemed to absorb and assimilate a rhythm that allowed me to endure the challenges. I became part of the ceremony, part of the women there, part of womanhood. I was powerful, I was humble, I was part of the earth, I was part of the sky. An intense, all-absorbing feeling of peace settled on me, and I
understood that I have a very, very good life. I am surrounded by beauty and need to continue to accept and appreciate it.  I am meant to continue to marvel at the moment. The feeling was powerful but serene, and I was thankful. I exited that torture chamber feeling cleansed and
focused and powerful, and wanted desperately to hold onto that feeling for life..in both senses of the phrase.

The next day, we chose Medicine Cards - or rather, some of them chose us. These cards are meant to help us to know ourselves. Fanned out, card faces down, we were meant to choose one that drew us to it. Some women ran their hands over the tops of the cards several times before choosing one. I got one-quarter through the spread out cards when it
felt like a shaft of intense sunlight had just permeated my
outstretched palm. I picked up the card underneath my palm without going any further. It was the Buffalo card - the card of prayer and abundance.  The card interpretation read: "The medicine of Buffalo is prayer, gratitude and praise for that which has been received." The puzzle pieces came together like an ancient mosaic.

Afterword: I am able to use what I learned. I can accept and appreciate what I have, while at the same time understanding that I am empowered and powerful. I have a voice that people need to hear. Not a day has gone by that I do not think about what I learned at BCFG, and use it, and I am grateful."

"Your teaching is a gift, and you have given me back my passion and power and love for myself. (Trust me, I'm a teacher, so I know a great teacher when I meet one.)"

- Danielle teacher NY

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